אגרגטור הזנה
1008 - ידיים למעלה זה שוד את הכסף
1008 - ידיים למעלה זה שוד את הכסף
http://www.facebook.com/AbaKarirOfficial בואו לפייסבוק שלי
From:
abakarir
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84
5
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Time:
01:17
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Sleeping In The Same Bed As Another Person Day!
Get nude then go under the covers feet first.
Put your hands on your favorite part of the other person. If you are okay with kissing (most aren’t) kiss.
Ask each other about each other’s tattoos. Say one of yours has something to do with a friend who died. Cry a little.
Yank or punch your least favorite part of the other person. They should be doing the same to you. Tell each other what disgusts you about each other. It’s time to break out the smoothies.
Smoothies are a treat for people who are performing well in bed so if your partner isn’t performing satisfactorily, withhold their smoothie.
Turn on an action movie at full volume then penetrate each other in some fashion (Google the ways) screaming as loud as you like because of the action movie.
When you both stop screaming, pull yourselves apart and turn off the action movie unless it’s “Heat.”
Load and cock your handguns and stuff them under your respective pillows. Turn on the video camera and turn off the light. Tell each other something nice so you each dream about nice things (kittens, health insurance).
Fall asleep. When you wake up review the video recording to see if any wraiths entered the room to try and steal your fingernails while you were asleep again. Don’t speak to each other in the morning. You’ll only give voice to your shame.
Happy Sleeping In The Same Bed As Another Person Day!
What To Do At Your Boyfriend's Funeral Day!
1. Arrive late so everyone’s wondering if it was just too much for you. Not so late that they start without you, but late enough that the church is full enough for people to start talking.
2. What you wear is important. If you plan to make a big, shocking announcement about how you never loved him and the honest thing to do would have been to break up with him but you didn’t so he died loving a liar, wear jeans and a tee shirt and make sure you show up wet from the rain. If it’s nice out, walk through a car wash. But don’t tell anyone you walked through a car wash if they ask why you’re all wet. Tell them, “I felt dirty so I stood under the shower for a while.” If you did love him and you don’t plan to make a big shocking announcement, black dress?
3. Who you show up with is important too. If he and your Dad fought a lot, show up on your Dad’s arm. If you slept with his best friend last night because you wanted to be close to someone who loved him just as much as you did, show up on your Dad’s arm anyway. His best friend will be upset that you didn’t want to show up to the funeral with him. At the reception, his best friend will tell you last night was very important to him because he always secretly loved you and he wants you two to try to make it happen. Tell him, “You’re not [DEAD BOYFRIEND’S NAME].”
4. Where to sit in the church: Pew 6, stage left, three seats from the aisle. No one will see it coming.
5. You need to decide ahead of time are you a big cryer, a medium cryer, or are you one of those girls who just sits there like a rock as everyone in the church keeps glancing over at you wondering when the fuck is she going to cry already? “I took a sick day! Cry!” We suggest just below medium if you want to make his colleagues and not-very-close friends feel less excluded. If you’re crying really hard they might think it’s a funeral for longtime fans of the deceased only and it’s weird that they showed.
6. You should show up sober unless you think you could have prevented his death. Alcohol’s fine if this was your fault. Why didn’t you do something?
7. Not sure what to do with the holy water basin by the entrance, but no one is. Maybe just dip the tip of your index finger then suck the water off it.
8. At the burial, don’t jump into the grave onto the casket. You’re better than this.
9. As the coffin is being lowered into the ground, kiss your fingertips and touch them to the wood. You’ll feel something kiss back. It’s not him. You’re just letting it hit you now. No matter how horrible you are, he touched your life and you just touched his coffin. You’re feeling it now.
10. You’re not horrible. Or at least you’re no more horrible than anyone else riding in the cars back to the reception. Nothing you feel is incorrect. Hopefully you made him happy sometimes while he was alive. Don’t play with the moon roof.
Happy What To Do At Your Boyfriend’s Funeral Day!
1007 - אבא קריר משחק בתעופה
1007 - אבא קריר משחק בתעופה
http://www.facebook.com/AbaKarirOfficial בואו לפייסבוק שלי
From:
abakarir
Views:
194
5
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Time:
01:33
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Paris Review interview
I think I’m controversial among some of the people in Israel and accepted by others, but the same can also be said for evolutionary theory.-- Paris Review interview
1006 - השמנת יתר זה קטלני
1006 - השמנת יתר זה קטלני
מערכון של אבא קריר http://www.facebook.com/AbaKarirOfficial
From:
abakarir
Views:
454
6
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Time:
02:39
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1005 - MASSAGE (different point of view)
1005 - MASSAGE (different point of view)
plus cosmic energy
From:
abakarir
Views:
216
9
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Time:
00:31
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1004 - איך היה היום שלך? רבע שעה חפירה
1004 - איך היה היום שלך? רבע שעה חפירה
http://www.facebook.com/AbaKarirOfficial כולכם מוזמנים לפייסבוק שלי
From:
abakarir
Views:
257
12
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Time:
14:53
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