Burning Man. Instead of the Winnebago there is now a big fire. The loud sound that accompanied this wondrous metamorphosis is sure to bring people nosing around, and Magenta is in no state to entertain1). Oh, and the skies are getting brighter - Mr. Sun will soon be up and about.
With no time to waste, Smith tries to body-tackle his frenzied surrogate Sire and contain her, only to learn his own lesson in “vampire-fast”. He is flipped in the air and smashed, facing up, into the ground, where a well placed rock bashes the back of his skull in. Being a vampire he cures this with a simple expenditure of Vitae, but by the time he does this and picks himself up, Magenta is already feeding from the torn throat of a now beheaded burning-maner whom she elegantly “uncorked”.
The burning-manner, found out by a disappointed Magenta to not be a writer, is scornfully discarded. Smith, hearing Sirens in the distance, decides to put a stop to things and sheds his own blood in a successful attempt to lure Magenta into feeding straight from his pectoral. Smith's “magical” Vitae helps her snap out of Frenzy pretty goddamn fast, but the sirens are getting louder.
The two Kindred hurriedly toss the body along with their bloody clothes (minding their valuables) onto the now burning Winnebago, and rush to the nearest RV (this one is not a Winnebago for keyboard related reasons).
The current occupants of the RV are Ursula, an aspiring sit-com writer, and Dave, who is bitched by his wife to the point of having to promise to relocate to Hollywood just so she'll let him attend Burning Man.
Smith quickly “convinces” the couple to drive Magenta and himself to LAX, where they can fly to Illinois, where the Fairy coordinates are pointing. The couple are only too eager to comply. They are, after all, old friends. So Jones and Smith go to sleep in the linen drawer under the bed, after plugging all the little holes and just missing a breathtaking sunrise, while Dave “drives and stops for nothing” and Ursula “guards the linen drawer with her life”. Such is the extent one would go through when helping old friends.
Waking up, Smith relieves Dave and Ursula who - being such devoted friends - have been driving and guarding, respectively, for 9 hours straight, without as much as a toilet break. The soiled couple collapse on a bed while Smith parks the RV at a camping site and proceeds to take a shower.
Magenta, now sporting her grave hair (something she usually avoids), goes outside to connect the RV to the local water pipe and have an important phone conversation with O'Hara, who informs Magenta that Sisko has been murdered and that the Malkavians claim to have proof that Smith is responsible. He demands that the two get to NYC immediately, strongly advising Magenta to preemptively stake Smith.
In the shower, Smith bonds with the Cat. They discuss the conversation with the Fairy, the details of which Smith claims to have totally forgotten and the Cat refuses to uselessly repeat - assuming Smith will only forget it again. Smith exits the shower and puts on Dave's clothes, much to his own dismay.
Magenta, deeply disturbed, takes her own shower while leaving her new cell-phone on the dashboard so Smith can inspect the calls log, which he promptly does. The Cat, attempting some novel form of communication, brings Smith a dead mouse, which Smith bemusedly drinks. Seeing how his gestures fall on deaf ears, the cat drags the depleted rodent and presents it to the showering and bewildered Magenta. As if she does not have enough on her shoulders.
Finally our heroes arrive at LAX and part with the sleepy Dave & Ursula. They feed on the ample bounties of LA's airport “food”, purchase real clothes (along with a scary 80's purse for Magenta, camouflaging the magical knife) and argue whether to go back to NYC or continue to Illinois. Eventually they take three seats on board the first plane to Chicago (one seat for the Cat, obviously), but not before Magenta excuses herself and sends a detailed update ax to Miles - in code.
After boarding, the plane is delayed, and a huge air-marshal comes aboard, sitting himself on the seemingly empty seat next to Smith and Jones. Smith complains to the stewardess, but the marshal sudos her away with his badge. Smith views this as a violation of his copyright and tries to Dominate the intruder, who turns out to be a werewolf and therefore way more resilient that Smith expected. A psychic battle ensues - the staring of eyes, the gnashing of fangs - till, finally, Smith sends the marshal spiraling into self-pity, and even to a secluded seat, the better to feel sorry for himself.
Unbeknowest to the duo, the Cat joins the marshal, now known as Theodore the Black Spiral Dancer, in his seclusion and takes a sample of his blood. Happy with this new addition, the Cat goes for a stroll across the plane manifesting his new power: becoming visible and audible in front of ailurophobic stewardesses.
Eventually Smith takes pity on the pitiful Ted and makes him his pal. The Cat is much alarmed by this, as is Magenta, who likens Ted unto a rabid tiger leashed on a piece of string. Smith, however, is complacent, and argues that they could use the muscle. Theodore is so happy with this new nomination he quickly sends a message from his phone, summoning some of his Chicago buddies to welcome him and his new pals at the airport.
This explains why, when stepping out of the terminal with Theodore, Smith and Jones are greeted by eight of Teddy's best pals subsumed in a black stretch-limo. One of them comes up to Smith, takes a long sniff around and asks in an uncouth tone of voice: “What are you, Dinner?”
LAX to O'Hare/The Academy Is…
It was a plane ride from LAX to O'Hare,
and what happened next was a series of unfortunate events.
(Please stay tuned for what happened next…)
The life I breathe for you gives to me new wounds
Well to patch and dress as I reflect on what else I could give you.
Maybe I should blindly throw my faith
into the next thing that comes my way
Standing at the back door with the life that she left behind.
Are we all the same behind the frame
Beneath the glass and fake last names?
I've been waiting far too long to feel the sun on my back.
It was a big bang
and a bright white light from no where.
It turned my coach class window to
A first class seat on the evening news, on NBC.
The life I gave for you is yours
So keep it, you oughtta keep it.
If I had one last chance to take it all back
You know I'd take take take you.
“Apologies are all we'll ever be,” she said.
Standing on the stairs
Looking back, looking hard at me.
“Well, life is long for those who have to wait,” I said.
It's the choice I had to make.
The choice I had to make.
It's the choice I had to…