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What started out as Gerold and Adranna fluffs & scraps and ended up being a rather sketchy general summery

17-10-09 (fluff)

[3 AM, Ranna's quarters. There's a knock on the door.]
Ranna [sniffling, opens door]: Gerold, wtf? you're drenched. Been fucking the snow again?
Gerold: No, I feel the pain of endless creativity so I've been bathing in my tears.
Ranna: Let me just wipe my own before I offer to non-Plaotonically comfort you.
Gerold: Rocks.
[She makes him a bath and sings little Mary-Sue mating songs while he doses off]
[Gerold wakes up and moves to the bed]
Gerold: So, ah, what'cha discuss with Jon that made you go all Psycho at dinner?
Ranna: No, you'll hate me if I tell you.
Gerold: Will not.
Ranna: Will too.
Gerold: Will not.
Ranna: Will too.
Gerold: Will n-
Ranna: I killed Adranna Lynderly.
Gerold: dot dot dot?
Ranna: [reads him her char sheet]
Gerold: Well fuck me.
Ranna: Finally! [jumps at]
Gerold: [chastly avoids] Nonono! I need to angst over this now. Let me leave you here to ponder suicide while I walk off and accidentally drop the ring I intended to propose to you with as I slam the door. [does]
Ranna: Oh yeah? You fight like a dairy farmer. [tosses ring into fire]

21-10-09 (fluff)

Later that night, Ranna packs and leaves, not before confusing the hell out of several guards. Gerold follows, finds her, they do exhaustingly dramatic fluff and go back to the Eyrie. Nothing to write home about.
(Well, a proposal, but technically, she never said "yes". So there.)

24-10-09 (session)

Everyone shares a dream involving wind in castles, in libraries, in the woods and in a dark corridor full of flapping doors. They wake up, they never had a sister and they have no powers.
Jon: Crap.
Gerold: wtf?
Wylhelm: Must be a magical circle, let's try outside the Eyrie.
Adranna: whatev, I'm just an npc.
[they go outside, fail with any magic but Jon keeps fainting when he tries, true scientist that he is. On their way back they are attacked by 20 Eyrie guards and WIN.]
GM: Imba.
Party: Bronze Yohn needs to know this. [tell him]
Bronze: Weirdoes. Fine, check what you can and report. [leaves]
[The party is served poisoned wine by a servant, whom Jon interrogates while Ranna is suspiciously off to get ice.]
Gerold: Another murder attempt! I'll go tell Bronze Yohn myself. [leaves]
[Jon and Wylhelm fluff some servant-abuse as Gerold walks off and meets Adranna on the way.]
Gerold: Yo, Ranna, am off to find that npc you hate playing and talk to him.
Ranna: The hell you are. He's not in his chambers.
Gerold: Where is he then?
Ranna: Right through this door. [leads him to an ambush where he's jumped by 40 guards]
Gerold: [eyes them all] Erm... I don't suppose anyone's up for a game of cards?
Jon, in the Maester's tower: Le sigh, I think Gerold's dying again.
Wylhelm: Yawn.
[both run into guard room, find Gerold fighting the lot and Adranna looking creepy in the corner. Jon helps his brother and Wylhelm knocks Ranna out just in time to have their powers returned to them. Fin.]

24-10-09 (fluff)

They spend an hour or two talking about the plot and hot Braavosi men, and go to sleep. This is, like, tah crap. All the sexual tension's gone, and they didn't even fuck. I'm asking you.

30-10-09 (session)

[Morning in the Eyrie]
Ranna: Morning, Kara. Hey, you know what? I'm not actually the real Adranna Lynderly. Check out my char sheet.
Kara: [throws a tantrum]
Ranna: Oh yeah? You fight like a dairy farmer. [storms out]
Gerold: wtf?
Kara: This bitch isn't even our cousin. Tell me you're not going to marry her now that you know she's not blood.
Gerold: She told you that too?!
Kara: [throws a tantrum]
Wylhelm: You know, I think this'd be a good time for me to split by botching a summon.
[Does and ends up in another, uncharted part of the world. Ta ta, Wylhelm.]
Party: Le gasp!
Jon: Zzzz.
Gerold: Ah, Kara, about earlier.
Kara: stfu, you're just like dad.
Gerold: dot dot dot.
Kara: Right, it's my wedding now. You must all be happy, and look, even the weather's great!
Sable: Hello. I'm a random Braavosi charmer and am here to deliver a package and sweep you all of your feet.
Ranna: Hey, didn't I shag you back in Braavos?
Sable: Not remotely. I shagged you, hon. Anyway, scurry off now, I think this guy's hitting on me.
Gerold: Just a little. [they shag]
Kara: Hey, am I not supposed to be the one getting some this session, what with it being my wedding and all?
GM: Ah, right. [much of that commences].
Ranna: [watches all this frolicking around her with a sigh] I suppose it's just you and me now, Jon.
Jon: Zzzz.

04-11-09 (fluff)

[Ranna takes five from watching over Jon to walk on the walls, comes back to her new chambers and finds Gerold there, flirting with the twins, which she shoos off.]

Ranna: It's dead cold out there.
Gerold: You know what? I think you should take a bath so we can play the sexual tension better.
Ranna: Good idea [does]. Wanna soap my back?
Gerold: Sure, I'm confident enough in my manliness to sink my arms elbow-deep into jasmine scented water. zomg, you have a tattoo on your back.
Ranna: Yesyes. It's a silver viper, see? Got it from a fat stinky guy I had to entertain because I lost a bet. It's this cool Summer Isles ink that actually shimmers in the sun.
Gerold: That's, like, very interesting. Want to hear about my scars?
Ranna: Would that finally get you in bed with me?
Gerold: Only one way to find out.
Ranna: Le sigh.
[He tells her how Goodwick the Huge died in some brotherhood battle while Gerold failed to protect him and took an axe in the face]
Ranna [yawns]: That's awesome, Gerold. Can we fuck now?
Gerold: No, but you can go all Cronenberg on my chest with a sword if you want.
Ranna: You Lynderlies are sick. [does]


Ranna: Sooo… wanna cuddle?
Gerold: [heals his severed arm tendons] why not.

07-11-09 (session)

[Morning in the Eyrie]
Jon: [wakes up from a 3-day long sleep] Best excuse to miss a wedding, ever. Right, I'm off to climb the Giant's Lance.
Gerold, Ranna & Sable: We're coming too.
Jon: Whatev.
[They reach the Lance]
Jon: Up I go. [sinks fingers into rock and does]
Gerold: Me too. [tries, rolls snake's eyes and is appropriately rewarded with having his eyes replaced with those of a snake] oh, pawned.
Sable & Ranna: Yeah, we care. [start playing cards]
Kara: [poofs in] Hello.
Party: Morning, Hanna.
[six hours later]
Jon: Right. There’s a spirit up there, called Alissa, whose tears are the actual waterfall, and she promisses us all Armegaddon when there’s a red star, or possibly scar, up in the sky. Etherial lips aren’t so good with phonetics.
Party: Whatev, man. We just want to sleep [do].
[Ranna has Jon’s dream, which involves said scar, or star, while Jon has Ranna’s dream where she’s shot in the gut.]
Ranna: Did you know Sable has magic?
Jon: wtf?
Ranna: Yup, I caught him cheating while we played cards and it seems he has a spare deck decorated with dragon magic signs.
Jon: Coo.

Oh, ffs, can't do this the normal way. Ned Stark's been declared a traitor, his son is gathering an army and the vale needs to choose sides. Also Gerold sulks about his eyes, the party takes Void Airlines to Carth and back (Wylhelm's there but apart from an attempt to fix Gerold's eyes he manages nothing, not even returning with the gang home), and then there's some depressing attempts to deal with magic and politics.

14-11-09 (session)

Party: We need to choose sides. There's Robb Stark's, the Lannisters and Stannis Baratheon.
Gerold: We need to tell daddy about this (because we love daddy so much). He's in Dragonstone with Stannis, so we can call him via Adranna-Skype.

[They try several times and find magical flames blocking the mental way to Dragonstone, and are subtly hinted that said flames have something to do with one R'hllor]
Ranna: I think if we all try together we might have a better chance.
[They try, fail again, and end up with Gerold and Ranna both occupying the same body and tricking the fire to actually allow them a few words with lord Justine.]
Justine: I like your eyes, son.
Gerold: Better than yours.
Ranna: [takes over mouth] stfu, Gerold.
Party: Coo. Now let's go down to the bottom-most of those three forts whose names we always mix on the way to the Eyrie and finally have that tournament in the late king's honour.
Bronze Yohn: Ah, sorry to snow on your parade, guys, but Eddard Stark's just been executed.
Party: Crap. That means we can't dilly dally with choosing sides anymore.
Aya: I'm bored. Where's the action scene?
GM: [sighs] Oh, alright then. You feel Littlefinger's mental presence in the general direction of up and-about-to-fuck-your-plans-again.
Party: We intercept.
[They do, shoot a sleeping-poison arrow into Littlefinger and take him back to some random fort for questioning].
Ranna: Right, into his mind I go. [does while the party listens in]
Littlefinger: The force is stronger with me, young Padawan.
Ranna: lol, n00b.[punches his mind]
Littlefinger: [parries with Nureyevesque grace]
Ranna: [Re-evaluates] Ah... right. How about we cut a deal. I'll get out and talk the gang into letting you live so you can tutor me.
Littlefinger: Sure. Am keeping a piece of you so I can screw you up if you try anything though.
Ranna: Oh yeah? You fight like a dairy farmer.[leaves]
Party: wuzzup, Ranna?
Ranna: Nothing, kill him.
Gerold: No way!
Everyone: stfu, Gerold. [kill Littlefinger]

21-11-09 (session)

[They kill Littlefinger]
Kara: Whoah, that was good. Dinner now?
Party: Coo.
[Dinner, night, morning, breakfast]
Jon: Oh, pawned, my hawk's just been shot to death. [sulks for rest of session]
Gerold: I think Ranna is Littlefinger. Lock her up.
Kara, Sable & Ranna: wtf?
[Ranna is put in a cell and sulks]
Kara: That's no excuse to miss my wedding tourney. [attends]
Sable: Damn right it isn't. [dances]
Jon: I think it is. [sulks]
Gerold: It is, but I won't. [visits, meets the Smiling Knight and spends the rest of the session hiding his erection about it]
Ranna: I'm not Littlefinger! Let me out!
Gerold: Oh, ok then. But be nice. [lets her]
[Jon wins the tourney, Gerold loses, Kara is crowned queen of cuteness, Sable sleeps with half the women and Kara's husband is accused of rape]
GM: [smacks lips] Yup… I think that's a good day's work.

28-11-09 (session)

Jon & Gerold: We're off to try and recruit The Smiling Knight, who seems to also be a mage. Toodles.
Ranna: I think Kara, Sable and I need to merge our powers and try to change Gerold's eyes back.
Kara & Sable: Coo.
[They try and end up tearing Gerold's memories apart or something.]
Ranna: Oops.
Jon: You guys are stupid. Let me show you how it's done.
[He joins forces with them and they fix Gerold, who goes from total stoicism to a fit of crying]
Party: Ah, that's the Gerold we know. All's good now.
Ranna: Awesome. Oh, btw, I was Littlefinger up until a mintue ago, but now I'm not. I also killed Jon's hawk.
Party: Oh, ok.
Kara: All these magic experiments get me horny. [goes through the void to a week and a half ago, pulls out some version of Wylhelm and fucks it blind]
Jon: You Lynderlies are weird. I'm off to talk to a tree.
[They take a ship, in the middle of the sail on which they find the white ship that was made of Jon and Ranna in some dream a million sessions ago]
Jon: Tah awesome. [flies aboard]
Ranna: Oh yeah? [tightropes over] Coming, Kara?
Kara [from within her cabin where she's still having her way with invisible void-Wylhelm]: Coming!

05-12-09 (session)

Ship: Hello, mommy, daddy. Teach me to behave.
Jon: Yay!
Ranna: Le sigh.
[They do as they sail to the Tree In The Middle Of The World, upon reaching to which they all follow Jon around]
Tree: There's some nature shit which is actually pure revenge and wishes to stop being revenge and go back to being only rage, which is shaped like a big black man, and this can be done if you go to a sentinel tree far beyond the wall and burn it, because said tree is using dragon magic.
Party: Coo, but we go to Winterfell first. It's on the way, and besides, since this is all plot, we might as well get done with the political shit for this session too.
[They go to Winterfell and tell Robb Stark everything about the incestuous Lannisters, about magic and Stannis and needing to join forces with the latter.]
Jon: Now I go and fix that tree we burnt last time we were here.
Sable: I think I'll take a nap.
Gerold & Ranna: We'll go and have kinky sex.
Kara: Way ahead of you, guys.
iceandfire/silly_summaries.txt · Last modified: 2011/05/22 07:28 (external edit)