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Wicked Wuxia
A lunchbreak roleplaying game, based on the In a Wicked Age system1), using the Wuxia Oracle from Abulafia, and quickly turning into a full blown soap opera.
The current chapter takes place a couple of years after Run of the Bandit and half a continent away, with Leto's return to his old home town.
Protagonist
Leto
Once the ruthless leader of a gang of outlaws, then the beloved Sensei Supreme to an order of warrior ascetics, and then… Who knows.
cov | 8 |
dir | 10 |
slf | 12 |
oth | 6 |
lov | 4 |
vio | 6 |
Bolt: With violence, potent. He just runs real fast.
Impregnate the Banker's wife
Steal Kakeya's needle and lock him in this dimension
Oracle
Eight of Hearts: A haunted site, where the ghosts reenact their grisly murders.
The five ghosts, following
Leto and his book:
The owner of the site, trying to repurpose the accursed asset -
Iwan Steal
-
Six of Clubs: Self-serving aristocrats, angry at a mysterious thief who has been robbing them without a sound or trace.
The aristocrat in charge of their collective assets -
The Banker
-
-
-
An obsessive police detective -
Balashi
His hot shot inspector
Four of Hearts: A master calligrapher, who knows all the ancient forms of the character for 'sword'.
-
The Sword, mythical and intelligent
The Guardian of The Sword
The stonecutter who cut the stone The Sword is stuck in
A secret agent after the sword's secret -
Balashi
Eight of Spades: A delinquent son, unable to live up to his father's expectations.
The father, who can turn into exotic animals -
Big Daddy
The son, engaged in criminal activity while wearing an exotic animal costume -
The Sloth
The son's fuck-buddy / therapist / ex au pair / ex lover of his father (possibly there is more than one character here)
The grumpy old neighbour that used to shout at the son for stealing fruits from his trees back when he was a kid
PCs
Iwan Steal
Slimy and slippery, can get out of any situation.
cov | 12 |
dir | 4 |
slf | 10 |
oth | 8 |
lov | 6 |
vio | 6 |
Mine: Covertly, doubly potent. Can remove *any* object from its owner, without the owner noticing.
Bankrupt the Banker and take over all his shit
Kakeya Soichi
A Celestial agent roaming the plains. Carries a strong artifact shaped as a needle.
cov | 4 |
dir | 6 |
slf | 10 |
oth | 12 |
lov | 8 |
vio | 6 |
Prick with a needle: ... and Kakeya lets go of his needle which flies through the air, with the greatest of ease, and swiftly embroiders a map to the monastery of the Five Winds upon a strange looking scroll. (from big_daddy_strikes_a_deal)
Beings and artifacts from other domains should be returned from this earthly dimension. Including a certain book engraved on a certain Bandit.
The Banker
What you see is what you get.
cov | |
dir | 10 |
slf | 12 |
oth | |
lov | |
vio | |
Release the Hounds: Directly and doubly potent. Three highly trained attack dogs, eager for the kill.
Force Lord Iwan Steal to join his bank and rip him off.
Brotha the Coachman
Quiet and dirty, the grease-monkey that gets shit done.
cov | 0 |
dir | 8 |
slf | 12 |
oth | 4 |
lov | 6 |
vio | 6 |
Nitrous: For myself. Doubly potent. He drives a mean machine.
The Sloth
23H of sleep a day, that's the fix. Would be all day if everyone just leave him in peace, meddlesome brats. But the description should be updated to reflect all that's happened to him in the past years.
cov | 10 |
dir | 4 |
slf | 6 |
oth | 12 |
lov | 6 |
vio | 8 |
The Slowness: Covertly, potent. Through subconscious thought when in deep sleep can come up with the most elaborate plans and schemes that require the least amount of effort on his part. Worst part is to wake up and actually make it happen.
Revelation: Directly and doubly potent. Can get out of his suit.
Raze the entire area, crush it to dust and leave a radioactive wasteland behind.
NPCs
Radekard
A pissed off spirit.
Fishslap: With violence, consequential. Beats you up with fish. Painful AND humiliating. Smelly too.
Imogen O'connell
A cruel demoness, slain by Leto's skulduggery.
Queen of Pain: Potent action. Her limbs fly with exquisite precision to cause her victim the optimal amount of pain. “You don't get it, boy. This isn't a mudhole. It's an operating table. And I'm the surgeon.”
Flay Leto's skin, hang it in ribbons where everyone can see it and learn not to fuck with the O'connell girls, and then kill him.
Aie Bwau
A former promising student, murdered by his best friend, still dedicated to the pursuit of knowledge, albeit in a somewhat cynical way.
Methods of Rationality: Potent maneuvering. Cool headed in the heat of the moment, he matter-of-factly explains how he knew you were gonna do what you did, and was therefore ever so ready for it.
Ng Mui
A Sacred Serpent, slain by an overprotective dog in the late stages of her pregnancy, just as she was regaining her eyesight.
Snake Eyes: Far reaching maneuvering. The gaze of those milky dead eyes can change your destiny. Usually for the worst. She stares blindly at the scorpion, feeling the tappings of his feet on the marble floor. The scorpion stops, turns, and walks into the corridor - straight towards the old cleaning lady.
Bolo
Big Daddy's first born, full brother to the Sloth and master of the northern megatherium style.
The Tree Trunk in Breeze: Action, potent. Twirls a gigantic fucking bo. The small man is shouting at the giant. The giant slowly shrugs. Balanced on his shoulders, behind his ox-sized neck, is a tree trunk. The small man pulls out a sword. The giant seems lost in thought, but his ridiculously developed deltoid swells and the trunk groans under the pressure. The small man charges, bellowing a war cry. The giant slightly shifts his hold. The trunk pops and becomes, just for a split second, a blur. The it rests in the giant's grip, covered with blood and brains.
Delilah Corday
The Banker's trophy wife, with aspirations of her own.
A Whiff: Maneuver, potent and consequential. Make herself wanted.
Balashi
A brilliant but rough detective, employed by highly unsavory organisations.
Bad Cop: Action, potent and consequential. Uses his brains to intimidate people out of their underwear.
Break up the clique of aristocrats, even if it sinks the whole area into abject poverty.
Scenes
The Sloth fails to rob the Banker
In a wicked age, at the Banker's gilded home, a party is being prepared in honor of Leto, the prodigal son returning from his monastic education on the other side of the continent. The air is thick with scents of foods, perfumes and incense, with a slight but pronounced undercurrent of dog shit.
As the Banker descends into the vaults, as he does every day, he can't help but notice a sloth-suited burglar in the process of cracking his safe, and immediately releases the hounds. The Sloth has prepared booby traps that rope the dogs and stop them from harming him, but the Banker cuts the ropes, subdues the thief and ties him up at the entrance to his house, as a warning to future robbers who are very soon to come.
Overheard at the party
A few hours later, when the party is in full swing, Kakeya Soichi is talking to his hostess, the slightly drunk Delilah Corday, who complains about the missing aristocrat who is giving her husband such a hard time, and about her husband being too busy to give her a hard something else. Kakeya offers his assistance, and the two pencil in a tryst.
Kakeya then approaches Leto, the guest of honor, and tells him he has heard that Leto is interested in fertilization. Leto points at Delilah and says she is already in his pocket, but Kakeya explains he was referring to plants, and continues to demonstrate his powers in that field by magically causing a small potted plant to bloom and grow and become a small tree in a matter of seconds. Leto immediately steals the plant along with its pot and the two pencil in a work meeting.
Brotha fails to rob the Banker
Just about then, a big carriage breaks through the wall of the feasting hall. And while everyone are distracted, Brotha the Coachman, carrying a heavy rope, sneaks into the vaults. He attaches one end of the rope to the safe, while the other is attached to another pimped up carriage that should be able to pull it out of the wall.
The Banker, however, who installed further alarms since the incident with the Sloth, stops talking to Leto, sics the hounds and cuts the tight rope, which backlashes and hits Brotha in the face. Leto wishes to go with him to the safe, but the Banker shuts the door in his face and locks it from the inside, preparing to watch his dogs tear the robber into bits.
Leto is unhappy with this, so he crashes the door with a dim-mak, which the exhausted Brotha promptly uses to escape. The angry Banker sics his dogs at Leto, and while Leto himself manages to bolt and run away, the dogs tear pieces of his magical armor away, and all the pages peal away and fall to the ground.
The Banker collects the fallen leaves and places them in his vault.
Lord Steal's betrayal
On a fine afternoon, Lord Iwan Steal pays the Banker a visit. On his way in he encounters the Sloth, still tied to the fence, who is able through his bondage to offer a calling card. After a prolonged negotiation Steal agrees to transfer half his treasury to the Baner's care, with the sole condition of being shown the Banker's security measures, including a visit to the vault.
And so it is that a couple of days later Steal arrives with a wagon (driven by no other than a poorly disguised Brota) to unload said treasury into said vault, but as the doors open the Sloth shows up and emerges from his suit, all white and angelic and bloody fast moving. However, the divine music that almost seems to accompany this revelation comes to an abrupt stop when the Banker's hounds show up, tackle him to the ground and drag him through the mud.
Brotha takes matters into his own hands and crashes his wagon into the house. He suffers internal injuries and just barely manages to run away. On foot. The Sloth uses the diversion to slip away from the dogs and run into the house, and supposedly into the vault, but something - presumably related to Leto's (previously Einshem's) book - shoots him out of the front door, throwing him straight back to the dogs, who missed him dearly.
Lord Steal, in a last ditch attempt to save the situation, runs to the crashed wagon and pulls out a bomb he prepared. It was originally meant to help him crack the safe, should the need arise, but now he just picks it up and throws it at the Banker. And misses.
To appease the Banker, Steal claims the whole thing was only a test, and agrees to transfer the entirety of his treasury to the Banker's care. The Banker agrees, calls off his dogs and hands the Sloth his suit, but not before he snaps the suit's claws.
The moral of the story, in case you've wondered, is that teamwork doesn't work without coordination, and that players are crazy motherfuckers.
The Fall of the House of Banker
Previous Chapters
Owe List