A pounding sound is coming through the wall. A neighbour is either hammering in a nail, or having sex on a creaky bed. I can’t quite tell the difference, and I’m not sure the neighbour can either.
A neighbour was screaming at his wife last night. I think I heard him at noon (or Friday night?) He was still going at it around 2AM. It was a long monologue – the woman’s words could only be inferred, from howls of DON’T TELL ME TO STOP SHOUTING!
and DON’T BRING THAT SUBJECT UP NOW!
– basically about getting no respect.
This evening I went to eat at the nearby cafe and saw a woman crying there, sitting at an outside table with another woman. I couldn’t help wonder if that was the wife.
Saturday talk with my dad:
How are you?
Fine.
Really? Are you sure? You don’t sound sure.
Well, actual-ly, I’m clinicaly depressed.
… (I then describe my content-free long weekend to my dad, who admonished me that I should do something with my life, because time is running out).
Later:
Me: …So I. says I should practice some martial art.
(a remarkable number of statements I make about my so-called life start with X says that …
. I prefer not to hold any strong opinions about the subject myself).
My dad: You should take up folk dancing. It will do you a world of good.
I need to get some oocytes. Preferably with a girlfriend attached.
That was perhaps too personal. Maybe I should point out that I’m talking about my other dad here. And another neighbour.
6 replies on “Merry Bachelor”
Yes. Martial arts will solve all your problems. People who do martial arts are always happy – just look at Steven Segal:
http://ibanagreatlakes.com/images/Steven_Seagal_3.jpg
http://www.pointedmagazine.com/espy%20segal.jpg
http://www.gibsonshowcase.com/bealestreet/photos/seagallockwood1.jpg
http://www.gibsonshowcase.com/bealestreet/photos/segallmick3a.jpg
http://www.steven-seagal.net/gallery/files/1/7/43272674.StevenSegal_original.jpg
http://www.heaven-earth.com/images/seagal.GIF
OK, don’t look too hard or he will kick your ass.
The other I.
Oh, and it’s not called oocytes, it’s cooties. Close, but not same.
I.
It’s Oocytes. If you listen carefully to a woman’s tummy late at night, you can hear them ticking.
Wow look at the frenzy, so many comments, we haven’t had this much traffic since
You got rid of the cats.
What next a conversation with mom…
Mom: hey how are you doing?
Dothen: I’m soooooo fuck’n depressed, mom I’m going to kill my self…
Mom: Hmmm….
Dothen: ……………………….
Mom:………………….
Dothen:………………….
Mom:hmmm…
Dothen: Do we have any rope?
Mom: hmmmmm….
Mom: I think we have some in the cellar.
You sad bastard you make me sick, just come out all ready.
It steel looks pink to me…
Being Gay is not as bad as you think, and it’s not as much work as martial arts.
O.K. I’m not giving you my advice because I’ve noticed you do this shit, he said do this and she said do that.
So here is my advice. Follow your hart, cheer up, smell the roses, read a poem, listen to the laugh of a child, live every day as if it was your last, yada yada yada.
Love you Bro.
Being gay is less work than martial arts?!
Well, I guess YMMV.
I.
Less work – if you’re the only gay in the village.