Damnit, Reddit, I want a boyfriend: a self-described shy 20-year old girl asks for advice on a predominantly male board about how to get a boyfriend.
10 helpful comments advise her to look past her sense that it is “social unacceptable for a girl to ask a boy out” and make the first move.
500+ comments follow, in which guys talk about that time they totally missed it when a girl made a move in their direction…
Guys (well, geek guys at least) don’t understand subtle. I froze in the face of such flashing signs as “I wish I had the courage to kiss you now” (but you have a boyfriend!) and barely discerned the call to action in such cues as “I will sit here and not budge from this couch until you kiss me” and “please touch my breasts so you can admire my bra”.
The counter-argument is that guys aren’t missing (all) those subtle flirting attempts, they’re actually imagining (some of) them. Those retrospective regrets we obsess over (“That girl smiled at me! She was really into me! If only I’d done something… I could kick my younger, dumber, better-looking self! “) are tricks of the mind to comfort our loneliness and make us feel better about ourselves.
I’m sure that girl was just being nice.
1 reply on “Boys (what is more dense than lead?)”
1) No, you are not imagining. That girl that smiled at you? Odds are she wanted you to do the naughty unto her. In the most succinct words of Monsignor Murphy: ladies like sex just as much as we do.
2) It might be interesting to analogize between this that you write of and the innate inability of players to get subtle clues (see discussion between Gingi and myself from last session, if you somehow find a transcript).
3) Note that while guys and roleplayers have a lot in common, roleplayers mostly miss out because the DM is really being too subtle, but guys (as is abundantly clear from your post) manage to ignore the obvious long after the girls are far too desperate to be subtle.
4) Maybe it’s the fear of getting it wrong and facing rejection. Maybe its refusing to believe the teachings of Murphy. Maybe it’s just misplaced attempts at modesty. Either way, silly. and familiar.
5) Come admire my bra. That one is just unbelievable. I would consider it a figment of your imagination, had I not encountered it myself. Really is something that should go with a David Attenborough narration.