Damnit, Reddit, I want a boyfriend: a self-described shy 20-year old girl asks for advice on a predominantly male board about how to get a boyfriend.
10 helpful comments advise her to look past her sense that it is “social unacceptable for a girl to ask a boy out” and make the first move.
500+ comments follow, in which guys talk about that time they totally missed it when a girl made a move in their direction…
Guys (well, geek guys at least) don’t understand subtle. I froze in the face of such flashing signs as “I wish I had the courage to kiss you now” (but you have a boyfriend!) and barely discerned the call to action in such cues as “I will sit here and not budge from this couch until you kiss me” and “please touch my breasts so you can admire my bra”.
The counter-argument is that guys aren’t missing (all) those subtle flirting attempts, they’re actually imagining (some of) them. Those retrospective regrets we obsess over (“That girl smiled at me! She was really into me! If only I’d done something… I could kick my younger, dumber, better-looking self! “) are tricks of the mind to comfort our loneliness and make us feel better about ourselves.
I’m sure that girl was just being nice.