This is funny. Long, too: RPGnet Forums – 250 things Mr. Welch can no longer do in a RPG. Some of my faves:
17. Collateral Damage Man is not an appropriate name for a super hero.
21. No longer allowed to recreate the Death Star Trench Run out of genre.
35. I am not allowed to convince the entire party to play R2 units.
37. They do not make black market illegal cyberweapons for rodents.
64. My paladin’s battle cry is not “Good for the Good God”
69. There is more to wizardry than magic missile. Even if I can do 200 damage automatic with no save.
88. My bard does not get a bonus to perform if she is obviously not wearing anything under her tabard.
90. My swashbuckling fop cannot take the flaw Dark Secret: Not Gay
107. There is no such game as Wereshark the Buffet.
122. The paladin’s alignment is not Lawful Anal.
134. The King’s Guards official name is not “The Royal Order of the Red Shirt”
161. I will not nail every single female party member except for the elf chick played by that creepy guy.
191. My character is not related in anyway to Boba Fett. This goes double for Star Wars characters.
219. In formal introductions to royalty, I must not introduce my companions as just “The Other Guys”.
Go read them all.
Pointless update: added some more, because I couldn’t excuse myself for forgetting to put #90 in.