No one has to run alone.

Trainspotter, investigating Trains that experienced missing time. Works as a Real Estate surveyor, has a wife, two kids and a sheepdog.

Ghostbuster LLC - Supernatural investigator. It has been rumored that he opened a portal through which others entered our world. He's based in London, in an alley of the bad side of Oxford street. Has a storefront and a 1 bedroom apt. above it. Handy with his walking cane that functions as a Shillelagh and a magical wand. Zeitberg half-heartedly tries to conceal the fact that he is the unrecognized and impoverished Duke of Beaufort, but his arrogant manner and posh behavior stand in the way. Lives alone.

A smart bimbo in trouble. She's been having strange and bad dreams, which she believes are caused by external paranormal influence. She becomes smarter because of these dreams, Lawnmower Man-like, but without being retarded in the first place. She's having strange thoughts which are driving her crazy. Single. Fucks her boss, who is now on vacation with his family.

• Trains
• Other Side
• Evil Warlock
• Underground Railroad
• Real Estate
• Ze Frenchies

Connie and Tom take a train to London to consult with Albert about Connie's bad dreams. Albert ascribes Connie's dreams to contact with her Other Side self, and prescribes a natural herbal tea, of Kohlrabi and Geranium, to dampen this effect. Connie and Tom buy the necessary ingredients and Connie drinks the tea before they board a train back to Oxford. On the train Connie quickly falls asleep and is seized with jerky movements. At the prompting of a conductor, Tom tries to wake her up, but she remains unconscious. At the conductor's urging, they get off at the nearest station (at the outskirts of Oxford) so that Connie can receive first aid. Tom calls Albie, who rushes over on the next train. The medic wants to give Connie a sedative to prevent her involuntary movements, but Tom tells him that she might be having some unforeseen reaction to the tea she drunk and that perhaps the sedative will combine with it to cause even more unwanted side-effects.

Albie arrives and sees Connie's spirit being tortured by the invisible claw of some evil warlock. He casts out this malign influence and Connie resumes normal, if laboured sleep. Albie manages to catch the scent of the warlock (it takes 23 minutes to fade), and leaving Connie with the medic (asking the guy in charge to call him if any trouble arises), he and Thomas grab a cab and pursue this magical trail to a house at No. 23, Mirkwood Road.

Knocking, the door is opened by a French boytoy who is totally immune to Albert's aristocratic powers and who, when pushed, brandishes a handgun to get rid of the snoops. The surveyor makes a phone call and finds that the house is registered in his own name. Albert does some magical packet sniffing, makes sure that here be Evil Warlock, and realizes that something big is taking place back at the train station.

Havers hurries to the station, calling the cops on the (armed!) people squatting in his new found property from the way and almost manages to not lie to the cops and incriminating himself. A local bobby quickly arrives to make sure everything is on the up and up and hands the French butler (“mais, oui, this IS the house of Thomas Havers, he lives here”) a small piece of paper requesting that the proper larger pieces of paper be presented to the authorities in SHOTEF PLUS 90.

Meanwhile, Havers arrives at the station, and finds not only the rest of Oxford's police studying a murder scene (the medic and the guy in charge, with a knife, in the room where Connie was treated), but also the cream of the shire's trainspotters, discussing the 19th century train arriving at the platform at about the time of the murder. A young “new age” spotter saw it and even took picture, but the police took them. Fortunately, Thomas talks to an older spotter - a true pillar of the community - who got to see them before. This guy, a true spotter, also gives such a good description of the strange green flatbed that was on the scene, that Havers suddenly recalls spotting it both on the way over (driving away) AND on the way to Mirkwood road (driving to the station). THAT fucking high are the mad spotting skillz involved.

The green flatbed arrives at Mirkwood road just as Havers - who is rushing back from the station - tells Zeitberg about it. Zeitberg tries to use his aristocratic powers and stands in the middle of the road and is forced to jump aside as a lowly commoner when the French driver (who is not only French, but actually a spitting image of the gun wielding “butler”) tries to head-butt him with the car. He tries to GTA the car from the Frenchie, but the Frenchie pulls out a hurriedly wiped bloodied knife. The other Frenchie, hearing the commotion, opens the door, and calmly starts sharp-shooting at Albert with his handgun (this he does from a pretty serious distance, seemingly unconcerned about hitting his clone/twin/whatever).

Havers arrives to the rescue, putting his own car (commandeered from a fellow spotter) between the gun and Zeitberg and grabbing Connie out of the booth. A couple of concussed Frenchies later, Havers and Zeitberg enter the house. Connie is still out. Zeitberg brilliantly avoids all magical traps, and confronts the Evil Warlock, who really seems like a nice guy. Only Albie's magical monocle (and common sense, really) reveals him to be all fang and claw evil dude. Realizing his cover is exposed, the thing within that nice exterior jumps Zeitberg, knocking his staff from his hands and throttling him. Havers hits him over the head with a cold iron horseshoe he must have had on him, and the Outhersidian skips away and vanishes. As he does, Connie wake up.

Searching the house (“can I take this skrying mirror? It's really yours, you know. Don't argue, reality said so. OK, I'm taking it anyway” and a lot of good it did us too!), Connie finds a computer with incriminating e-mails. It seems Mr. Evil Warlock was running some sort of Underground Railroad for Othersidian invaders. Connie manages to fit some names to e-mails, eventually finding this kid on Facebook who is inviting all his virtual buddies to party tomorrow at a familiar address: the Oxford home of Thomas Havers.

Facebook party arrives at Tom's, by absent courtesy of Philip Arch (of Underground Railroad fame), the Bristol Kid. While Havers prepares the boiling oil, Connie befriends a Facebookian drug dealer, who points her at Jordan, school-mate of Philip. With a wag of her tail, Connie arranges all the male-folk (Jordan too) into marching order and away to pay Phil a visit in Bristol.

Apparently Philip was living with this older woman called Cynthia, who is a brave new type of Othersidian (or at least brave new realization of one into our reality), and who offers tea. Jordan is the only one who fails to heed Albie's excellent mime performance and actually drinks it.

While Havers keeps Cynthia busy with her porcelain doll collection, Albie pokes around with his usual air of supremacy and takes Connie to Phillip's room, where they find a locked chest. Al fonzies the lock with his staff and reveals cleanly separated body parts. Phillip parts, to be exact. Connie's scream brings everyone into the room, Jordan faints (maybe it's the tea), and Cynthia uses the distraction to try and slip out of the room unnoticed. Keen of eye as always, Thomas spots her and hurls one of Phillip's arms to block the door, but Cyntia is faster and manages to shut the door. The arm hits the door, and something in the chest goes OUCH.

Cynthia locks the door, and it sounds as if she is hurriedly leaving the house. Albie shazams the lock, and they all just hang the apartment for a while talking. Jordan still out. Then Connie - a chip of the old DIKT - spots the Frenchmobile parking outside and spewing Ze Frenchies¹⁾

Connie takes the car keys and runs to the car. Havers takes Jordan (see pic, but render a guy on top) and follows as fast as he can. It seems like the fighting might be avoided, but Zeitberg, unable to let good loot go to waste, starts schleping the chest. Thus encumbered, the Frenchies quickly catch up with him, and both himself and Havers begin to engage in that fine mix of bar brawling, old-school pyrotechnics and an almost giddy approach to CGI that we call a fight-scene.

Meanwhile Connie has made it to the car and carefully got out of the parking spot, causing only slight damage to the car. She picks up Thomas, drives by his fell Frenchie, picks up smoking-staff Albert and drives by *his* Frenchie, and then past the Frenchmobile, where all can see yet another Frenchie.

After they abandon the groggy Jordan in a pub in Bristol (“he must be used to it”), they all drive to London. Thomas makes excuses to his wife en-route and Connie vouches for him (he is helping her with a terrible problem). Dropping Albie and Connie with the chest at Albie's off-Oxford St. office, Tom departs in search of parking. Connie and Albie continue into the lavish offices of Ghostbuster llc. (floor plan needed). Albie finds that the door is ajar, and that the office has been ransacked - although none of the magical apparatuses have been disturbed. Approaching the mirror Albert stole from the Evil Warlock, Connie notices they both have no reflection.

Mike, a local X-man, noticed the hot chick entering the store and decides to start working on their relationship. He enters the shop, but there is no one there.

In the meantime, Connie and Albie try to move different things in front of the mirror, but nothing seems to reflect in it. The mirror seems to be showing a copy of the store, with no C&A but with a shady looking type entering it and looking around. They manage to attract his attention.

Mike notices something in the mirror. He approaches it, and suddenly the hot chick and the geezer show up in front of him, searching for something in the mirror that shows only the inanimate parts of the store.

Killing cats!

Culminating in a ritual to revive the bristol kid involving wax, cords of mandrake leaves to lash his limbs together, and a break-in to the Guillotine room at Madam Tussaud's - the procedure seems to have worked, and perhaps too well. Muttered chatters in french, wrinkled wax brows glistening in candle light, and the old ladies knitting at the guillotine raise their knitting needles and prepare to strike!

For the benefit of the anal:

~~ORPHANSWANTED:wanted!wiki!playground~~

~~ORPHANSWANTED:valid!wiki!playground~~